Guest Post: A Male Perspective on the Paradigm Shift (by Mike)

Mike was kind enough to share a post on his perspective on the paradigm shift. Much of what he writes is consistent with what is experienced in our WLM. I can also relate to how his wife was initially concerned about denying orgasm but now it is barely a thought :). My husband mentioned the other week that he could not remember the last time he had an orgasm but he knew it was more than 3 months. I hadn’t even realized it. lol! It just seems normal to tease him without allowing an orgasm and for him to not orgasm during sex. Enjoy Mike’s post. -Mz Kaylee

I thought a few things could be said about the paradigm shift from the hub’s perspective regarding sex. Not to make it all about sex, but who doesn’t like talking about sex :). Many have mentioned similar experiences as it’s part of the journey and shift. I think a few could relate

Pre WLM, in our traditional marriage, we would have sex when I wanted. I would receive oral a good amount of the time and I would initiate these times whenever I was in the mood and horny. I suppose you could say I was in control. I would have an orgasm each and every time. I rarely would give my wife oral and I know at times we had sex when she felt obligated and not in the mood. The sex life was decently good. My mindset was typically such as, if enough time went by, I was horny again and needed sex. Or I would masturbate to get a release. Looking back, I actually feel a little bad my behavior appeared selfish and deplorable.

The paradigm shift occurred when we established our WLM, which like many, didn’t evolve over night. My wife took control of our sex life decisions, my orgasms, and other aspects of the marriage.

Today, I don’t get a release unless given permission or have sex unless she requests it. I never receive oral and I give her oral very often. Everything has changed completely, for the better.

This paradigm shift, in hindsight, looks difficult to comprehend with the transition made. I’m aroused by small things she does, horny everyday, and yet I don’t get a relief. I have no control and have become a servant to her needs and pleasure.

What’s fascinating now is that I don’t constantly seek the next sexual encounter. I’m not counting days with anxiety until I have an orgasm. I actually may pass if had the opportunity to have one. Like mz Kaylee said, the mind fuck is our daily sex. Physical sex is just another route, privilege, or bonus that happens.

What’s odd is that my cock seems like it has its own mind than what I desire. My cock gets hard, has erections, and enjoys stimulation. A hard cock looks for relief and a release, to cum. That’s usually the end game of why it’s erect. However, I’ve been trained and disciplined to follow the opposite behavior. No relief will be given, ignore the erections, and I know no orgasm will be rewarded. It’s like two minds are watching and battling each other.

In our beginning of the WLM, my wife felt bad or concerned leaving me hard after sex or oral. I was supportive and encouraging. And now, it’s not even an after thought for her. A few days ago, I asked if she had any plans for a full orgasm for me anytime. She said she really had not thought about it much. And she’s said this before. She felt the ruined orgasms were sufficient for me. I smiled and agreed. She has found her balance she enjoys.

She also wondered if I enjoyed sex in our beginning WLM. That also is no longer an after thought. When she wants oral, she simply requests it at her convenience, and I stay dressed, to give it, unless permitted otherwise. She understands she can have her orgasms whenever she pleases as conveniently as she wishes. It isn’t ceremonious, or ritualistic. Just direct spontaneous instructions.

When she wants intercourse, I’m expected to be hard, without any touching or foreplay by her. She no longer finds the need or desire to be fully nude. As we fuck, all my attention is on her to serve. I listen and obey instructions for positions and speed. It’s no longer for my personal enjoyment but to ensure she gets as many intense orgasms as she desires.

Oddly enough with the paradigm shift, I prefer to give her oral even with how often and how hard I have erections. Almost makes me wonder why I still get them. She no longer touches my cock, or receive oral, or regularly have orgasms. Sex isn’t a chore but it is a responsibility and a privilege. I’m to perform and the purpose is for her benefit. I play a role as a tool to be used in a loving way.

Again, it’s strange looking back at the progress and transition but it has been amazing and incredible.

-Mike

Guest Post: A Male Perspective on the Paradigm Shift (by Mike)