I am a very submissive 28 year old boy who needs discipline, encouragement, perhaps harsh scolding/punishment at times.

My life is a wreck. I’m a college drop out who declined three perfectly good jobs, and missed out on other opportunities because my ego got to me in the interview. I am nearly bankrupt due to being without a job for so long due to the cost of living and trying to start my own venture.

I do and still have knack for two things: finance and film. They feed off each other. The latter passion enabled me to quadruple my money in one year. Sure enough, my ego got to me after that; thinking I couldn’t lose, I stupidly let my discipline suffer and got sucked into scam after scam. I recently lost around $6500 on a new bitcoin trading website. They created artificial prices (only they have access to create such a distortion)  and immediately liquidated my position. Even though it constitutes gross negligence (no broker would have acted in the same manner based on the circumstances I’m not going to list here), no lawyer will take my case because it’s not financially feasible (they want a 5k retainer) enough.

I am pretty much up a creek without a paddle, and if were not for family, I’d be on the verge of declaring bankruptcy. So, the trading didn’t work out, but for some reason I’m still very passionate about it. The only thing that kills me is not being able to deal with a loss; I can have an accuracy rating of over 55%. So, trading, win or lose; the act, planning etc… I guess you could say is what fulfills me. Acting is neat, but it’s more something I can’t *really* do until I’m completely settled financially because you *really* have to do it full time to be successful and being shutdown and going without money for that long is so damaging to self-esteem. There’s no way around it: I have to be self-employed. I took a job and am training to be the best I can, perhaps leverage that in another area.

I’ve gone to a few events, but the majority were smoke and mirrors, including play parties. It seems everyone is already in a relationship and it makes sense since I got on the train so late. I’ve though about getting into porn after I’ve made a little money to feel more secure because I am attractive, well hung, and have these insane sexual urges. Just regular porn for the time being. However, I’d love to have a lady (not just casual), discipline me more than I can alone to take me to great heights, more than just sexually. Is something like this unrealistic: expecting to find a dominant female partner and then have her know I am a straight, regular pornographic actor by day?

Also, I’m ridiculously horny and it is affecting my career. Just an hour stint looking at porn and masturbating can cut at least 2 1/2 hours of productivity out of my day. I haven’t had sex in nearly 16 years and it was with my first girlfriend. I normally don’t masturbate with toys at all. Should I try to lock myself in chastity until I can find a dominant woman or am I hurting myself by not just paying and seeing female escorts/pro dommes?

[The thing is, I am extremely selective and averse to catching a disease. I’ve tried doing bars, but it cut into my time so much I’ve stopped going (not much of a drinker anyway); it wasn’t like there was a horde of straight women (at least where I am) in this day and age dying to have sex with men].

I know deep in my heart that I can get through this. I am destined for success. I hope the right person reads this and can offer their own words of wisdom.

Sincerely,

A sub guy