Minimising habituation to maximise misery

As privileges are reduced one step at a time, to maximise pleading and misery, it is possible to miss a trick, hence the Wank-Suck-Fuck torture those of you who read my journals will know all about. But I will elucidate in this post.

On THIS linked PAGE, the dates of the following prohibitions for the rest of his life are shown, in chronological. First fucking was prohibited, then blow-jobs, then me wanking him off, then him wanking himself off, and finally him not even being allowed an orgasm under the sole of my shoe. (I do love using unladylike words to upset the males who think there is a rule against that for women.)

In addition denial periods changed according to these periods. One week, ten days (the minimum I suggest for all FLRs for a two good reasons), two weeks, one month, two months, at least six months.

But the problem now is that he is so used to having lost what he has lost, he could get habituated to those losses so they cause little or no misery for him, and no pleading, and I do love that desperate, often tearful heartfelt pleading! His pleading has now been reduced to just being allowed to touch my body, “…just for a few seconds, please, please, ..”. So given that is what he pleads for when I pull poses naked in front of him, it is not even in his mind, to plead for a hand-job, or blow-job or a fuck. (I do pose naked in front of him a lot – he begs and pleads so so desperately and pathetically. He gets so upset!).

That is not good enough for me, hence at least once a week I employ the Wank-Suck-Fuck torture. So I suggest fellow Dommes, in this position, introduce some sort of equivalent to my Wank-Suck-Fuck torture. Below is an excerpt from my Journal No.23. I apologise for the length of the excerpt. (Since that event I have moved to a see-thru ‘harness’ that is secured to his chastity cage, and I have photos, but that is another matter.)

………………………I passed him the strap-on harness, probably not used since when Play-toy, my uxo-girl-plaything used to visit, some years ago, to be seriously used and abused by me.

Once he had it strapped and adjusted around his hips, I gave him the little green silicone dildo, I use for the wank-suck-fuck tease torture. (It is the exact size of his little redundancy when he used to be allowed to become erect.) I had him slot it into place in the harness. I was already enjoying this new style of wank-suck-fuck tease torture, just seeing the dildo sticking out from his hips and his tiny pink cage resting a bit lower down his body, inside which, locked inescapably, was his flaccid little redundancy. He began to sigh and looked very uneasy.

I told him to go and get the kitchen photo collage that I use when undertaking the wank-suck-fuck tease torture, and it all fell into place for him, and he could not have looked more distressed and humiliated.

When he returned, I placed the photo collage on the bedside table, right next to where he stood. I began by lubricating the dildo a little and then I began wanking it. Given it now protruded from his groin, this was SO much better than holding it with one hand, and wanking it with the other. And it certainly was even more nasty for him, both by how it must have felt, being so-close-and-yet-so-far, but also so humiliating for him by the mocking malevolence of the procedure.

My words have almost become a script. I undertake the wank-suck-fuck torment so often. But with using the strap-on harness, there were some ‘script-changes’.

“Look at the photo collage bitch. You see her hand wanking that big cock. Now look at my hand.” He did as he was told and started to make continuous, deeply poignant, whimpering sounds as I began to wank the dildo with my right hand. With my left hand, under the dildo, I held his chastity cage, being sure not to touch his scrotum. He was to get ZERO sexual touching during this activity. I was scornful and very vindictive.

“How easy would it be for me to wank your little defect off to a lovely orgasm? It’s almost like I really am isn’t it. It really looks like it. But I don’t ever touch your little redundancy now do I? No bitch, that hasn’t happened for years, has it? But at least it looks quite a lot like I am bitch, doesn’t it. You at least have that compensation.” I laughed mockingly.

“Perhaps we should get a skin-coloured dildo, the exact size of your redundancy when hard. It would be even more realistic compensation for you then, wouldn’t it.” I laughed again. His eyes were glued to my hand and its motion while it gripped the dildo. Using the strap-on harness was so much worse for him, than previous times, when I held the dildo with my left hand. I was REALLY enjoying myself. He always utterly abhorred the wank-suck-fuck torment as it used to be done. It seemed it was twice as terrible for him using the strap-on harness. He was close to tears. I could imagine they might spring forth from the corners of his eyes any moment. He was delightfully distressed. I returned to my monologue.

“Your scarce orgasms are only ever under the sole of my shoe aren’t they. Not from wanking-off, ever. And you’re never going to get those sweet sensations of a nice wanking off ever again are you. Not for the rest of your life!’ His eyes remained fixed on my hands wanking the dildo that protruded from his groin above his chastity caged redundancy. He made constant dry sobbing noises. My cunt was already very wet.

‘‘Look at the photo again bitch. You see those lips sucking like a vacuum on that big cock. How amazing that would feel? I doubt you even remember how it feels. It must be six years since you felt that. I don’t know, five years, six years, seven years. Who knows? Who cares? Not me, that’s for sure. And you will never ever feel that again will you. Not for the rest of your life.’ I leant forward and used my mouth; to suck hard on the dildo, as I moved my head forward and backward. He wailed in distress. I withdrew my mouth from the dildo.

“I know. Instead of a skin-coloured dildo, we could get one of those penis, silicone-mould kits. We could make a mould of your redundancy when it was hard, and use that in the harness. We couldn’t get much closer to it looking like it was really happening than that; could we?” I laughed.

“Of course, we would have to wait for your next erection-orgasm event, and use the mould just before your redundancy goes under the sole of my shoe.” I sucked on the dildo for a while before continuing.

“Hmmmmmm, though. That might mean you were hard for longer than the, one minute I like to limit you to. I am not sure I want to allow such a treat. But on the other hand as you only have three or four erection-orgasm events left for the rest of your life, it would be a shame not to have a silicone version of your hard redundancy to use, for all those years after Valentine’s-Day 2026. I will have to think about that. Tough choice!” My head dipped down for more sucking of the dildo, while he dry sobbed and whimpered. I sat back for a moment. Tears had sprung forth into the corners of his eyes. ALL I was doing, AND SAYING, had overwhelmed him. I could not have been more callous and ruthless, to be considering that even the time he needed to be erect to use a silicone mould, might be too much of a treat for him!

There were real tears running down his cheeks now. He was properly crying. I felt exhilarated. I had reduced him to real tears with no application of physical pain at all.

It was clear that him glancing at the photo and then watching my lips and powerfully sucking mouth, moving up and down the dildo, did remind him of how it used to feel, especially now the dildo stuck out from his groin, rather than me holding it.

I felt no sympathy or guilt, or pity. I simply felt exhilaration and sexual arousal. Again and again, perhaps rather reluctantly, he chooses that I dominate him my way over no domination at all. Everything he endures as a result, he deserves. His tears made my cunt very wet. A lovely liquescent linkage!

I sucked the dildo again for a few seconds before speaking again, with intense spite in my voice to ensure he understood his tears DO NOT elicit sympathy or pity from me.

“You pathetic little bitch; crying like the sissy-little-girl you are. You think a crying, little bitch deserves blow-jobs? Of course not! Pathetic cry-baby bitches deserve their tiny birth defect to be locked away and ignored, just like yours is.” I was sooooo enjoying mocking him.

“I am a sadist and I love that I have the power, and the persona to make you cry. To make you cry, as you think about never, ever having a blow-job again. I get serious pleasure causing you that emotional pain. Pleasure that makes my cunt wet. I know you will always choose my domination over no domination at all. And that is why I think you are so pathetic, bitch! Why I have zero sympathy or guilt.”

It was time to move onto the final phase of the Wank-Suck-Fuck routine; penetration. I felt that this would be the most different phase from past Wank-Suck-Fuck routines, because the strap-on harness meant a new and probably far more devastating dynamic then previously, when I simply penetrated myself with a dildo I was holding.

To his surprise I told him to go to my sex-toy bag and get from it, the very thin dildo, I bought long ago that had been used with Play-toy, for a cruel reason I could not even remember. (I think it was to do with physically teasing her because its diameter was so small, it did nothing, when pushed in and out of her, except frustrate her as she needed something much bigger to gain orgasm; which I denied her.)

The dildo is about the same length as the green one but only of the diameter of a marker-pen, if that. When he returned to my bedroom holding the thin black dildo, his sobbing had abated. I think because of some confusion as to why I wanted him to get me the thin dildo. I told him to replace the green dildo in his harness with the thin one. The penny dropped for him and he knew what was to come next. He began to sigh and dry-sob alternately.

When the dildo was in the harness, I sat at an angle on the edge of the bed and placed one foot on the bedroom chair and the other foot further down the edge of the bed, with my leg almost straight. My thighs were splayed very wide apart. I leant back on my elbows. He was going to get to fuck me with the very narrow dildo. (I did not want him to be able to give me even the slightest pleasure that the bigger one might create. I wanted him to feel useless and pointless, not feel like a lover giving his woman some pleasure.)

He began to cry as I pulled him to me and guided the dildo into me. He was still.

“Fuck me then bitch. Isn’t this what you have dreamed of for over fifteen-years now?” He did not move. My tone became cold.

“If you don’t start pushing in and out, I will cancel your next scheduled erection-orgasm event, so it will be at least a year between the previous and the next, rather than six months, as scheduled.” He began to thrust in and out. My mood instantly changed to very amused and I laughed at him.

“There now, you’re fucking my cunt with your little defect. It’s little, and hopeless and inadequate isn’t it, just like the one actually attached to your body, but locked in its tiny cage………… Does it feel like you are fucking me pansy-piece? It looks like you are doesn’t it. Isn’t that lovely, fucking a beautiful woman just like you used to, all those years ago, but just like then, it doesn’t actually do anything for me does it? No; just too small, completely ineffective.” I laughed at him before continuing. I knew just how very cruel I was being. My sadism was unfettered and spine-tingling.

“Oh I bet, as you are pushing in and out, you can so precisely imagine really fucking my tight, hot, wet cunt. Really precisely remember how good that felt. Sooooo goooood.” He was overwhelmed now, and tears began to run down his cheeks. He was having quite a day of it which I think increased his overall distress.

I adored it! We would, from now on, be engaged in the wank-suck-fuck tease torture quite often; with him using the strap-on harness. I hoped that when he looked at the kitchen-collage in the future, (because I know he just cannot help himself but look at me naked body), he will think about how this new method of the wank-suck-fuck tease torture, using the strap-on harness, is sooooo humiliating, and sooooo intensely teasing on the, so-close-but-so-far basis.

I am always a little surprised at just how the wank-suck-fuck tease upsets him so very, very much. I have to assume most hours of most days, he is able to put from his mind what has already been prohibited for him, for the rest of his life.

It seems the wank-suck-fuck tease, causes him to lucidly imagine what amazing physical and psychological feelings used to be generated by each of the three now-prohibited activities, and the tease rams home to him the awfulness, reality and finality of the prohibitions. I guess it makes it all so much more awful and humiliating to him that firstly, the tease profoundly reminds him of the prohibitions that will never be lifted for the rest of his life, and secondly, that I tend to laugh at him and assault him with my deeply mocking words throughout, at how pathetic he is to have no sex-life and at the extent of his trauma during each stage of the tease.

And this new method of the tease, using the strap-on harness, and with the narrow dildo for the final stage, magnifies every terrible feeling for him. (Which of course magnifies the sadistic pleasure and arousal for me, in equal measure.) This new method of the wank-suck-fuck tease, is here to stay!