Understanding Lifestyle

I need some help because I'm so confused. I am unsure to accept this lifestyle, I want to accept it, and become who I meant to be. But at the same time, I feel like I won't be a man if I do that. I want to obey women, kneeling at their feet, but I don't want to be this man of running away from his duties. Btw my girlfriend doesn't like this lifestyle and I'm just not sure, because I love it. I just need advice, so thank you for reading this!