Last week I felt like I was on top of it.

I wrote some posts and started reworking a story. Life was happening for me. I even suggested to Mr Jones that we should take Velella out for the weekend. Last week was dazzling, and I was ready to enjoy some time on the water. When I stepped on board, it felt as if it had been months since I had been there. That tentative familiarity I had started to build was gone. I was back to trying to remember where things are kept and reminding Mr Jones to put his shit away.

The weekend was one of those magical times when the weather gods smiled on us. We had some amazing sailing, snorkeled on the wrecks at Tangalooma, climbed sand hills and relaxed. I enjoyed all the things, but it felt kind of muted. Like I was going through the motions but not really getting the E-motions. Come Monday morning and I felt like I had fallen off an emotional cliff. I was down in a valley somewhere, trying to see the sunshine.

I did all the things; told myself it wasn’t that bad, that people did like me and it would be OK. I put the mask on and went to work. Which went smoothly, all things considered. I pushed myself to go to pole training and was surprised that the endorphins from physical activity really helped. Strenuous exercise does really make me feel better. Making yourself do strenuous exercise when you just want to pull the blankets over your head? That is really hard.

I got up Tuesday and Wednesday planning to write a post about the restorative power of sweat and pinched skin, but the weekend activities meant I was behind with planning for school, so I spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday restoring that balance. Friday morning I woke up, it was raining, and I was back in that valley again. Every thought I had was about something I had done wrong or some aspect of my life that was deeply hurtful. I wasn’t sure how I was going to function at work. It took me a 35 minute, drive to work with the music turned right down to get myself into a place where I could function in a world full of people who were going to drain my already leaky bucket.

Strangely, I got through the day. I found myself at home at a reasonable hour on Friday afternoon. I even spent time working on a dress I started way back before teaching took over my life again. Being creative restored some peace in my soul. Now it is Saturday morning and I am preparing for a crazy day of helping restore order in a wardrobe room of a local theatre. It will be an interesting day. I promise to share photos of weird finds. There is usually at least one.

In the meantime, here are some photos from the magical sailing weekend.

How was everyone else’s week?

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