Why?

The other day a commenter asked me “why?”. Why does spanking and humiliation turn us on? I thought I’d take a blog post to post my theories and would be very interested in reading your thoughts as well.

This is how he phrased it (the comment was on my Christian Domestic Discipline post). My comment response in red.

I think we all kinda react to cornertime differently. What’s you’re take on it Miss Julie? You’ve been there… How does it make you feel ? Humiliated? Ashamed? I already know what it will cause your most sensitive areas to do, so you don’t have to answer that part ;)

Yes, all of those things! Very humiliating to be “put in your place” like that. Very visceral. Very childish. I do get wet though, as you allude to!

Miss Julie, have you ever been able to figure why there is a direct nexus between humiliation and you getting wet ? Or anyone getting wet for that matter ? Not a rhetorical question. I’m asking because I don’t know.

I then provided my theories which I shall restate and elaborate on further in this post, and then there was some post-comment email followup which was… titilating…

Thank you for the posts and re-posts regarding the use of humiliation in scenes Miss Julie. I knew you’d be just as curious as I am about the topic. I could never quite understand or explain it either.

I’ve had the pleasure of being able to “play” with some sensational women in my day and bore witness to their faces becoming as red as their bare bums when faced with healthy doses of humiliation.

The power suit, power heels and power strut, corporate executive…Being made to wear a yellow gingham dress and knee socks, cute little Mary Janes with bows and pigtails. Made to stand in the corner with her bare bum on display…I haven’t even touched her yet…

But she’s dreading the moment I come up behind her for a “wet check”. She already knows the insides of her thighs are completely soaked and can’t explain why. Her current predicament is so embarrassing and humiliating for an adult woman…but her naughty girl parts won’t lie…

I’ve seen it happen without fail, multiple times over. That’s why I asked you Miss Julie…I don’t get it…but I love the shameful, involuntary reaction of a naughty girl. ;)

As I mentioned… titilating! I thought I would reply in kind.

Oh dear! “Wet check”
Do you think we are just to be bent over and have your large manly hands swipe themselves over our pussies for our “wet checks?”
No doubt a wet-handed slap to our bottoms afterwards as well!

He responded with assurances that it goes both ways…

Not at all Miss. I’ve been in the corner with “chastity tears” before too…and subjected to a “wet check”…

But the nexus between humiliation and shameful, involuntary arousal? Anything? Your idea to blog about it might be a good one Miss?

Maybe speak to your own experience in the corner and davids as well? Involuntary shame of wetness?

So yes, it is undeniable that there is a certain portion of the population, both male and female, for whom a certain type of humiliation is indeed very sexy and can promote a noticeable physical response.

In the case of my husband, the other day I had him standing facing the wall with his spanked bum on display and a dildo up his butt while three other women and I discussed my theories of male training. As I discovered subsequently, this caused a real “leakage” situation that even went so far as to create sticky strands dripping out of his cocktip and multiple drops of pre-cum on my hardwood floor. This display was put on full view, of course, discussed and commented on at length, to allow for a full and complete shaming (see Husband Spanked in front of Feminist Lesbians – part 5).

The only other major “leakage” incident was immediately after he had received a legit massage from his regular massage therapist. In his post-massage relaxation, after his therapist had left the room, he touched himself a little (ostensibly thinking about me – do we believe him?), and his penis began spontaneously leaking pre-cum which he could not stop. While he was able to contain most of it and clean it up with tissues, he inadvertently wound up leaving a small stain on the sheet which was discovered after he left, and he was confronted with it at his next massage. This entire incident was incredibly humiliating for him, especially the gentle “talking to” he received from his massage therapist. I documented it (and his consequences) in Husband Diapered for Real Punishment. So I cannot imagine anything much more humiliating then that, but despite that it aroused him terrifically.

In general, david is very turned on by humiliation of any sort by women (but not at all by men). Anything a bit degrading makes his cock hard. This is especially true if we involve other women, especially in more vanilla circumstances where his humiliation is absolutely maximized. We do a lot of humiliation play as a result of this fetish of his.

For my part, I can totally understand, as I too find it to be be very sexy to be put in this type of a humiliating position. But for me, it can be either men or women on top of me, which I think reflects my bi-sexuality. There is a certain gut-wrenching, abject, butterflies in tummy, humiliation that really just turns my crank. This is especially the case if I am to be spanked, or if I am to be used sexually in degrading ways.

I was extremely aroused the first time I was placed in the corner by my friend Tracy. I was just beginning to really explore my submissive side. She and I (and her husband as it worked out) had a series of several extremely intense sessions. Tracy was assisted in her first session with me – where I was to be severely paddled by her – by a letter from my “Paddle Daddy” who made the paddle expressly to be used on my butt (This was all documented in Julie Paddled!). The letter suggested a full stripping, a “before” picture, and then ten minutes facing the wall in timeout before my paddling. After that, an “after picture” holding the instrument of my correction. Here they are (BLUSH!),

That’s one well-paddled blogger!

And here is an excerpt from that post, how I captured my thoughts at the time.

I got a little bored standing there. And I started thinking about what had gone on up to then, and what was yet to come. And standing there in abject humiliation… so… My hands were down and crossed in front of me… so… I rubbed my pussy. Just a bit… I guess that’s why an experienced Dom makes a girl put her hands on her head in timeout. So I pushed my nose more into the wall, and i stuck my butt out, and i rubbed my clit, and i sort of gyrated my butt a bit (yes.. on purpose… I’m a brat, aren’t I???)

“Are you… Are you… playing with yourself?” she asked in mock outrage.

“yes ma’am..” i said in a meek voice.

“You do not play with yourself while in timeout, missy! Get those hands to your sides, where I can see them!”

“Ohhhhh…” I said, sounding disappointed.

“You’re finding this sexual, are you?” she asked.

Just the way she asked that, it was like a rhetorical question. I mean, Duh!

“We’ll see how sexy it is when I start using that paddle on your butt!”

GULP!

“Six more minutes…”
 …
“Three more minutes…”
…
“One more minute…”

“Ok. Times up. Get over here.”

Phew! So that’s what a timeout is like? And that was only ten minutes! Felt like a very long time to be cooling my jets. But towards the end I sort of sunk into it and the time went faster. There is NO preserving any sense of dignity when you are bare assed naked in the living room (I mean, totally bare: ass, tits, pussy, tummy, back, legs, …) nose in the corner, waiting for your spanking!

That was my first “real” timeout. I was so embarrassed, and got so wet! But as bad as that was, it got sort of exponentially more humiliating when her husband got to witness it as well.

On my second session with Tracy, Julie’s Belt Licking!, her husband was invited as well. Tracy had made me go out with her to the store and help her to select a belt to use on me. While there, she bought me a little onesey she thought was cute. When I had to bare my butt for her husband that first time it was soooo mortifying!

Afterwards, he got to watch as Tracy gave me a belt lickin’ on my bare bum!

The third time it was a “schoolgirl” roleplay and they were my Mommy and my Daddy. This time her husband John would be allowed to SPANK and FUCK me!!!

Before we started, Tracy took some pics of me. She did a series of three increasingly humiliating ones WHILE HER HUSBAND WATCHED!!!!

As I wrote at the time in Schoolgirl Punishment – part 2,

First I was told to kneel on their Ottoman. They made me arch my back and stick my bottom out. Tracy came behind me and fidgeted with the hem of my skirt. Pulling it down, smoothing it. Patting my bottom on top of it. Her husband was watching the whole show. Then she stepped back and she took a photo.

I felt her hands again on the hem of my skirt, and then I felt it being lifted and draped across my back. She arranged it so that skin was showing both above and below my little red panties. She pushed down on my lower back and made me hold my arch. She stepped back and took another photo.

“Your panties are very pretty, Julie,” said John. That made my heart flutter a bit. A handsome man I barely know pointing that out.

I knew what was coming next. Tracy gleefully announced it: “They are pretty, but it’s time for those panties to come down, little missy!” she said.

Oh no! With my butt presented like this, I knew my pussy would be in plain view!!!! I am an exhibitionist, clearly, but it’s still embarrassing, I can assure you. Maybe that’s why I show myself off like this? Am I a shame slut?

Tracy pulled my panties down slowly, slowly, and then arranged them as a band around my thighs for another photo.

“Very Nice!” John said. Oh my gosh! At this point I was hyper-ventilating!

Yes, I knew I was in for a paddling. This was the perfect position for it. It’s the perfect position for something else as well…

After the photo, Tracy came back to me. She gingerly pulled my panties back up and arranged them to cover my private parts completely. Her handling of me was exciting. The pussy show was over. For now.

I was relieved to no longer have to display my vagina for her husband’s perverse amusement. Tracy had owned me with that panty lowering. She demonstrated that if it was her will that my pussy be displayed to her husband, it would be displayed to her husband!

She helped me to my feet. She looked at my face. She could see I was flustered and breathless. “You poor dear!” she said and she hugged me. “Did your little show for John excite you?” she asked with a laugh in her voice. “yes…” I whispered breathlessly in her ear.

It’s so humiliating for an adult woman to be dressed like a schoolgirl and shown off like this, especially knowing that I was about to be SPANKED, bare bum, in front of and then by a strange man!!!

And here I was, over John’s lap, spanked!

And believe me, his hand certainly did “stray”!

So yes, both my husband and I have experienced the sexiness of this kind of humiliation. But why?

Here is my theory. Please be kind to me. I have zero academic credentials in any of this and am TOTALLY speculating. Have not even read anything about it. I would really enjoy a followup discussion in the comments section where you criticize my view and propose some of your own.

For my part, I think it starts with evolution and genetics. A successful mating strategy for a woman was to appear meek and submissive and sexually available towards the strongest, most dominant man she could attract: a man who stood a good chance of protecting her and her offspring. The successful strategy for the man was to display dominance over the most fit woman he could attract.

Women who became sexually excited by being put in these submissive situations by a dominant man, who enjoyed it at some level, and who lubricated freely, were more successful at breeding, and those genes spread. Likewise for men with their dominant streak. If they got turned on by being dominant, they would want to do it more often, their cocks would be stiffer, and their ejaculations quicker and more copious. Obvious breeding advantages.

But genes aren’t so smart. There is a lot of spillover. So, for example, if a woman is dominant towards me it sort of accidentally has the same effect.

Being humiliated is to accept your submission in some sense. And women are wired to be sexually turned on as a result. Of course, there are many environmental factors that mitigate and control this, and our brains can resist our drives very successfully if the right conditions do not line up (e.g., an obnoxious guy I would definitely NOT want to mate with!).

But then how to explain male submission and female dominance?

I think it is actually similar. Because the male and female genes get all mixed up with one another over time, I think that basic drive to be submissive and dominant exists in both sexes. The Yin and the Yang as it were.

For a man, who is expected to be dominant in society, he must suppress these opposite urges. But the more we suppress something like that, the more it wants to come out and play, especially as these particular urges are tied to our sexuality. This also explains why if a man is heterosexual, being dominated and humiliated by a woman is particularly important, as those two things get so tied up together in their genes.

For a woman, it is really amazing to be able to fully exert her dominant side. But I think that nowadays we are being called upon more and more to do that within society as it is, so it takes a special woman!

Anyways, those are my tow cents on the topic. What do you think?
Source: Strict Julie

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