Handling the Finances and Assets in a WLM

A topic that often comes up in Wife Led Marriage (WLM) discussions is how the finances should be handled. Whether you are in a WLM or not, you (the Female) should be involved with the finances to ensure money is not being carelessly spent. In a WLM, the wife should not just be involved with the money, she should have control over the finances and restrict her husband’s access to funds. Controlling the finances gives her real power over him and also keeps him from spending carelessly. Additionally, by restricting his spending, it forces him to choose wisely on how to spend his limited funds, which can help keep him out of trouble. For example, a late night at the bar with friends is expensive and so he is incentivized to either skip the night out with the boys or leave early (boys tend to get into trouble later in the night when the booze is flowing). Most of what he does requires him to spend money and so another benefit of controlling his money is that you have direct control and influence on what he does.

The most extreme step of financial control is to cutoff the husband completely from all money matters, bank accounts, and assets. As crazy as it sounds, many submissive guys would love this because without money and assets they are powerless and become dependent on the wife. This powerless and helplessness is a huge erotic rush for submissive men. However, for the mast majority of us, this is not a practical approach. I actually think it is a bit of a “cop out” for the submissive. There is stress and work associated with managing the finances. Why should he be freed from that and leave it all up to the Female? Shouldn’t a good submissive take on all the grunt work of paying bills? I also believe it is a risky financial approach because in the event anything happens to you (the wife), he will not have immediate access to money in order to take care of you or himself. In the unfortunate event of death, he will be faced with challenges and complications to gain access to cash and assets, which not a good situation for a grieving spouse. I am amazed that there are some women who advocate for this approach. Perhaps they are not thinking about the long-term consequences. As the leader of the WLM it is your duty to lead in a way that is in the best interest of the marriage and therefore, in my opinion, a high risk approach like this should be eliminated, unless you consult with a lawyer and put in place a plan to address what happens in the unfortunate even of death or a severe illness. Having said all of that, I have corresponded with someone who has taken this extreme approach and she has done it in a carefully thought out way. I believe this to be the exception but it is a viable option. For confidentiality purpose I have not named her but if she is reading this, I hope that she comments and shares her thoughts.

The good news is that the extreme approach is not necessary for the wife to gain control over the finances. There are many strategies that can be employed to restrict his access to funds. The degree to which the Female wields control will depend on her savviness with handling the money versus her husbands savviness and trustworthiness with money matters. Let’s face it, not everyone is good with money and that includes both Females and males. In my marriage, my husband is better with money management than I am and so I rightfully leverage his expertise and make him do all the grunt work associated with finances. However, I still retain control over the money. More on that later in the post.

First, let’s start with a few basics of how you can exert control, regardless of whether or not you are a good money manager. The simplest starting point is to put him on a weekly spending allowance and require him to come to you if he needs more money. At the most basic level, he still has access to accounts and credit cards and you are relying on his obedience to comply. You can enforce the allowance policy by reviewing statements, questioning unauthorized charges and withdrawals, and punishing as warranted. With this simple approach, you have essentially taken control of the money without putting all the work and responsibility on yourself. For example, if your husband is out and you want him to buy something or he has a need to buy something beyond his approved funds, you can authorize the purchase and he can easily access the funds. He will feel controlled because he will have to spend within his allowance and he will have to seek approval to exceed his allowance. Requests to go above the allowance should be met with disappointment and consequences.

A next step would be to have him close any bank accounts that are solely in his name. I recommend having one joint account and one account in your name only. I do not advise to eliminate the joint account due to the risks noted earlier in this post. Another step to take is to eliminate or limit the use of credit cards or debit cards. I recommend that you allow him to carry at least 1 credit card for emergency use. Review the monthly statement each month so that you can monitor whether it has been used or not. Many credits cards have alerts that can be set-up to text you anytime the card is used or if a certain dollar amount is charged to the card.

How you fund the bank accounts and how he is allowed to use the credit card will depend on how tightly you want to control money. The tighter the control, the less access he has but the more work it creates for you. If you are a person that enjoys dealing with money matters and bills, then having tighter control is probably a good strategy for you. In this case, he is left with a credit card for emergency use only and your sole account should have the majority of funds going directly into it. If possible have his paycheck direct deposited to your account. If his company does not allow it, then have it deposited to the joint account and set-up automatic transfers to go from the joint account to your sole account. The joint account should be left with enough funds that he can access in the event of an emergency or to access if you need him to purchase something. If you are exerting tight control, you may even want to restrict his access to ATM cards and not provide him with passwords for online access. However, I recommend you have a plan in place for him to be able access the funds in the event of an emergency. For example, you could place the ATM card in a sealed envelop to be opened only in an emergency.

How I Handle the Finances

I take a looser approach with financial control because my husband is better with the finances and I have no interest in paying the bills. I enjoy that he handles the work and stress associated with bill paying. Therefore, our paychecks go into a joint account so that he has funds to pay the bills. However, a portion of his paycheck is direct deposited into my account and a portion goes directly into a savings/investment account that is to be untouched until I decide otherwise. I could have easily had money go from my paycheck into my account instead of taking it out of his. However, as a sign of my control over him, I want it to come from his paycheck. I enjoyed having him submit a form to his payroll to direct money from his check into my account. He has no insight into my account and how I use the money. He has a weekly cash allowance for expenditures for himself. He must request approval if he needs more funds. He rarely needs to request additional funds as he has learned to live within his budget.

He also has use of credit cards to make purchases. This is necessary because he does the food shopping, puts gas in the cars, and handles all the purchases needed for general household and yard maintenance. I have no desire to be involved in such purchases. However, large purchases ($100 or more) for any reason require my approval. I receive alerts on my phone from the credit card company when purchases exceed $100. I will also review credit card statements regularly and will punish him if I come across charges that I feel are unwarranted or that he should have gotten approval for. Fortunately he has good judgement and it is not often that punishment is needed. Although there are rarely issues, I still take the time to review the statements and I will purposely question a few charges so the he knows I am watching. I want him to feel that control and this ensures that he does not start to spend without permission.

Since he does have access to funds and credit cards, there is opportunity for him to cheat the system and sneak in a few purchases outside his allowance. As noted above, I review credit card and bank statements regularly to prevent this. In addition I will periodically conduct audits. These are always surprise audits and I like to make a big deal out of it. I will usually have him put on either his sissy panties or slave outfit (collar and cuffs) and kneel next to me while I sit at the computer and do a review of all accounts. He maintains an online check book and categorizes all purchases. Therefor it is easy for me to run reports and review how our money is spent. I will question him about anything unusual and I will also use the time to review how money is being spent, what is being saved, and whether or not we need to change anything, including his allowance. He is good with finances so I will seek his input and recommendations but I always have final say. The audits have never revealed anything concerning with his spending and I would not expect it since I already regularly review statements and capture issues at that time. However, they serve the purpose of demonstrating my control over the money and over him while also letting him know that there is no room for him to spend outside his allowance without my permission. If he does, he will be caught and there will be consequences for him.

After the audit, I will tease his cock a bit as reward for his obedience. I may even give him a one time bonus to add to his allowance for the week. It is quite powerful to count out cash for him while he is kneeling before me, almost naked and with an erection.

Assets

Removing his name from assets, such as the house, cars, and investments, is another way for the wife gain power over her husband and push him deeper into submission. This is a do-able approach but again, there are bigger considerations that must be weighed, such as estate planning, tax consequences and management of the assets. What is best for you will depend on how many assets you have and your net worth. There can be tax advantages to not having assets jointly owned. The biggest concern that I am aware of, with removing him from ownership of your house or other assets is that if you pass away, he will have to go through a probate process to get ownership of the house and assets, which takes time and costs money. Since he is your spouse, it is likely that he will eventually be awarded the assets but there may be a risk that he may not. Having a valid will in place which dictates how assets are to be distributed should solve for this. I am certainly not an expert on estate planning so you should consult an attorney to determine what is a feasible approach for your situation.

Another consideration is management of the assets. If the assets are in your name, then only you can handle the transactions and issues associated with the assets. This means more work for you and less work for your husband. You may be able to add your husband as an authorized user on your account, but then of course that diminishes the control of having the assets in your name.

In our marriage I am focused on what is best financially for us and what is best for the long-term well being of each of us and so there are assets in my name, assets in his name, and assets jointly owned. There is no doubt that he is submissive to me and that I control him. I do not feel the need to take sole ownership of assets to have that control. In the end, since he is my spouse, he inherently has a stake in those assets, even if he is not listed as a joint owner and so it appears to me that the control aspect here is somewhat of a myth. However, I can understand how a wife would want to take this step to exert her control and create a sense ownership of her husband. For me, it’s just not the approach I want to do. I have many other ways of exerting control :).

Financial Planning

We meet regularly with a Female financial planner, which I highly recommend you do. At first my husband did most of the talking during our meetings because that is his area of expertise. However, after a few meetings, once I got a comfort level with what was being discussed, I began to ask more questions and take charge of the meeting. My husband is a wise slave and quieted down quickly the first time I started inserting myself into the conversation. I distinctly remember a surprised look on his face when I started dominating the discussion, and I enjoyed taking that control from him. He even commented to me a few days later that he felt control slipping away from him after that meeting and it made him feel even more submissive to me. Now, I am the one that corresponds with the financial planner and schedules appointments with her (or I order my husband to schedule the appointment). I still include him in the meetings because his financial savviness is valuable to me, but he gives his advice and then I discuss with the planner and make the final decisions.

Final Thoughts

Hopefully this gives you some ideas on how to take control of the finance in your WLM. Limiting his access or use of money is a definite and effective method of control. The amount of control you exert in financial matters depends on what you want to accomplish as well as how involved you want to be with the administrative work and handling issues. Tighter control will lead to more work for you and can be burdensome and stressful. No control or too loose control gives the submissive too much freedom and can lead to excessive and inappropriate spending. You need to find the right balance that works for you.

-Mz Kaylee

If you are Woman who is good with money, then you probably already have a heavy hand in the finances and so taking full control over the money is probably an easy step.

Handling the Finances and Assets in a WLM