The Rough Subbe and I have been going through some challenging things lately regarding our relationship. It is always somewhat tenuous because of our ages and places in life, but sometimes I feel it more than other times. Yes! Dommes can get insecure. And it is very bad for a D/s dynamic—at least mine. When I feel insecure in our relationship, I veer between anger at him for making me feel insecure, anger at myself for staying in a situation that’s making me feel that way, and then an intense desire to please, which is rather counterintuitive for an F/m relationship. Also, all of this veering can happen all at once. I’ll be nice and kind and then end making some cutting remark [...]

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/blade-of-grass-blur-bright-close-up-432786/ Have I talked about premature ejaculation training again recently? I don’t feel like I’ve talked about why I love this kink enough lately. Sometimes I feel like the most boring Domme in the world because I don’t care about hitting people. Or tying them up. Okay. Maybe a little scratching. But not even much of that either. I have a whole toybag full of stuff I never use. The way I do kink would look so boring if random people saw it. Because a lot of it just looks like sex. Like regular old sex—except always with me on top. (That’s not even part of the power exchange. I just like to be on top.) But it’s NOT the [...]

Photo by Francesco Ungaro: https://www.pexels.com/photo/trees-on-a-dark-forest-1671325/ I was having a conversation with someone the other day about kink (shocking), and the topic of breeding fantasies came up. I somewhat shamefully admitted, that I have a total breeding kink, although I literally NEVER actually play it out with anyone in person. Never have. Never will. This is NOT an invitation! In fact, a lot of my fantasies involving this are fucking dark, and I am usually the submissive one being taken. (I do have a sort of reverse femdom fantasy involving this that is never mean or degrading.) In reality, I am hardly ever submissive in sex, and I would never ever ever never ever ever never do the stuff that my mind concocts while [...]

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-cat-licking-a-crystal-glass-6869655/ I know it’s been an eon since I published anything. I have resolved anew to get back into the swing of things, both professionally and in my personal life. I have let so many friendships languish, and honestly, I often feel rather lonely. (Not an invitation for stalkers, please.) I have no one to blame for this but myself and my terrible streaming habit. That sounds vaguely kinky, but I mean my actual streaming habit of watching too many high-quality television programs. (Did you catch Nimona? So good!) So, today I made 3 short little teaser audios for Niteflirt that I use as bait…nom nom nom….for catching little subbies in my net before I lure them to their [...]

I know, boys. I have disappeared again. I do this periodically. Don’t I? It’s very bad for business. If you’re someone who pays for domination—definitely online—and probably offline too, but I don’t do that, so I can’t speak for in person dommes—there is something you should know. Paid domination is a lot of work. Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re saying, “Work? But Miss Vivian, you just lie around eating frozen grapes, and I worship you. How is that work?” It isn’t manual labor. Well, maybe in some cases. It depends how hard you hit. But it is a lot of emotional labor. It’s a lot of reading the people you talk to and catering to their fantasies, even when you don’t particularly feel [...]