Unlocked, and when he's done...  Hopefully you're done.  Locked, it is all about when you are done

Challenge his masculinity...  Is he really afraid he will get hurt by a girl?

Never underestimate how beneficial and freeing it is to let him set aside the stresses of the day and rest and relax in a completely submissive relationship!

Laying down strict rules at the onset is best for both of you.  It says the right tone, and creates deeper submission right away.  Also quickly cuts off any quick desire to back out.

Make his wife scream in ways he never could.  Be should know his inadequacy and how much she needs you to make up for it.  Plus, that is an immense tease to see her so delighted.

There are some great bumper stickers out there: I wear the pants and my husband irons them for me Just smile and say, "Yes Mistress" ...

Find a woman, yes.  But know that it might be your current, seemingly tame wife or lover.  She might just need to discover how loving, obedient, and creative you could become.  We all gotta start somewhere