How learning to delay orgasm can completely transform your sex life, your relationship, and even your emotional bond

In a world obsessed with quick climaxes and performance metrics, the ancient practice of Karezza — sometimes called “coitus reservatus” or “gentle lovemaking without orgasm” — feels almost revolutionary.

When you combine Karezza with deliberate tease & denial techniques, you get one of the most powerful sexual training protocols available to couples today. It’s not about frustration. It’s about amplification: amplifying sensation, amplifying connection, and amplifying love.

This long-form guide will walk you through everything you need to know to start a Karezza + tease-and-denial practice with your partner — from the philosophy and science behind it to day-by-day training protocols, safety tips, and real-life stories from couples who’ve made it part of their relationship.

What Exactly Is Karezza?

Karezza (from the Italian “carezza,” meaning “caress”) was popularized in the late 19th century by Dr. Alice Bunker Stockham, one of the first American female gynecologists. The core idea is simple:

Sexual union without the goal (or often without the occurrence) of orgasm.

Instead of the usual peak-and-crash pattern, Karezza focuses on relaxed, affectionate intercourse — sometimes for hours — with the deliberate intention of staying in a prolonged plateau of warm, bonding energy.

Modern practitioners often allow occasional orgasm (especially for the woman), but the man typically learns to separate ejaculation from pleasure entirely.

Why Add Tease & Denial?

Tease & denial (T&D) is the conscious, playful withholding of climax to heighten desire and sensitivity. When used as a training tool inside Karezza, it becomes rocket fuel for three things:

  1. Male ejaculatory control – Most men can learn to orgasm without ejaculation (or delay ejaculation indefinitely).
  2. Female multi-orgasmic capacity – Women often report waves of full-body and vaginal orgasms that feel completely different from clitoral peak orgasms.
  3. Oxytocin bonding – The prolonged skin-to-skin contact and eye-gazing floods both partners with oxytocin and vasopressin — the neurochemical cocktail of long-term pair bonding.

The Science in Plain English

  • Dopamine spikes during the “chase” phase of sex. Orgasm crashes dopamine and spikes prolactin (the “sexual satiety” hormone).
  • By riding the dopamine wave without the prolactin crash, you stay in a heightened state of desire and affection for hours or even days.
  • Studies on tantric practitioners and Karezza couples show significantly higher relationship satisfaction, lower divorce rates, and markedly higher levels of reported daily affection.

The 8-Week Karezza + Tease & Denial Training Protocol

This progressive program is designed for couples who already have basic trust and communication. If you’re brand new to extended lovemaking, start slow.

Week 1–2: Sensate Focus & Non-Genital Bonding (No intercourse yet)

Goal: Re-wire pleasure away from genitals and toward whole-body sensation.

  • 20–40 minutes of naked cuddling daily, no genital touch.
  • Take turns giving and receiving slow, mindful full-body caresses (hair, neck, back, feet — everywhere except genitals).
  • Practice synchronized breathing and extended eye gazing.
  • End every session with affectionate praise (“I loved how your skin felt under my fingers”).

Week 3–4: Genital Awakening Without Arousal Escalation

Goal: Teach the body that genital touch does not have to lead to orgasm.

  • Add gentle genital touch, but agree on a “traffic light” system:
    • Green = feels good, keep going
    • Yellow = approaching the edge, slow down or pause
    • Red = stop all movement immediately
  • Man lies still while woman explores his penis with fingers, mouth, or light vaginal contact — but stops the moment he says “yellow.”
  • Reverse roles the next night.
  • No one is allowed to orgasm this week, even solo.

Week 5–6: The Karezza Session (Intercourse without movement)

Goal: Experience deep union without the usual friction-escalation cycle.

  • 10-minute warm-up of non-genital sensate focus.
  • Insert gently (lots of lube) and then remain completely still, or rock in tiny, almost imperceptible motions.
  • Maintain eye contact, smile, breathe together.
  • If the man feels the point of no return approaching, freeze completely until the urge passes (this is the core tease & denial training moment).
  • Sessions can last 30–90 minutes. End with cuddling — no orgasm allowed.

Week 7–8: Dynamic Karezza with Controlled Escalation

Goal: Add deliberate teasing and higher arousal while maintaining control.

  • Now you may add slow, conscious thrusting — but only 5–9 very slow strokes, then pause completely for 30–60 seconds.
  • Woman can clench her PC muscles rhythmically while man remains still (incredible tease for him).
  • Introduce verbal teasing: “Imagine how good it would feel to let go… but we’re not going to, are we?”
  • Allow female orgasm whenever it naturally arises (many women have their first full-body or cervical orgasms this week).
  • Man continues to practice complete ejaculatory choice. Some nights he may choose to ejaculate, most nights he chooses not to.

After week 8, most couples settle into 3–5 Karezza sessions per week, with occasional “conventional” sex when they feel like it.

Advanced Tease & Denial Techniques (Use After Week 8)

  1. The 21-Day Challenge No ejaculation for 21 days while having intercourse 5–7 times per week. Many men report their first non-ejaculatory orgasms around day 14–18.
  2. Edging + Plateau Training Bring the man right to the edge 5–10 times in one session, then settle into still Karezza for 30+ minutes.
  3. Chastity Play (optional) Some couples incorporate a male chastity device for 2–7 days between sessions. The anticipation is explosive.
  4. The “Almost” Game Thrust exactly 9 times very slowly, pause, count to 30 out loud together, repeat. Do this for an hour. The psychological tease is intense.

Common Challenges & How to Solve Them

  • “Blue balls” (congestion pain) Solution: Learn testicular breathing (inhale deeply while gently pulling energy up the spine on the exhale). Pain usually resolves in 5–10 minutes.
  • Restlessness or frustration Solution: Shorten sessions at first. Frustration is usually a sign you’re still goal-oriented. Return to eye gazing and affectionate words.
  • One partner wants conventional sex Solution: Schedule both. Many couples do Karezza 80% of the time and passionate peak sex 20%. Both feel richer because of the contrast.

Real Couple Stories

“After six months of Karezza + tease & denial, my husband can have rolling whole-body orgasms without ejaculating. We make love for two hours and he’s ready again the next morning — something that never happened in our 20s.” – Sarah, 38

“I used to last 3–5 minutes. Now I can choose to ejaculate whenever I want — or not at all. The best part? My wife says she finally feels emotionally safe during sex because there’s no rush.” – James, 44

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t About Denial — It’s About Abundance

Tease & denial sounds like withholding, but couples who practice it consistently report having more pleasure, not less. You’re not denying orgasm forever; you’re expanding the definition of what sexual pleasure can be.

When sex stops being a sprint to the finish line and becomes a leisurely walk through a garden of sensation, something magical happens: you fall in love again — sometimes deeper than the first time.

Ready to begin?

Start tonight with 20 minutes of naked cuddling and eye gazing. Tell your partner you read something wild and you want to try it together.

The path to extraordinary intimacy is literally lying right beside you.