Ladies, if you’re here because your husband knelt in front of you one night, trembling with need and whispered, “I want you to own me,” congratulations. You’ve been handed the keys to the kingdom.

But here’s the part nobody says out loud in the pretty Femdom Tumblr captions:

You cannot have your cake and eat it too unless you are willing to actually bake the damn cake.

You do not get a perfectly obedient, eager-to-please, chore-doing, orgasm-denied husband who worships the ground you walk on while you do absolutely nothing to feed the dynamic that keeps him there. That’s not dominance. That’s laziness wearing leather.

Yes, he will cook, clean, do the taxes, mow the lawn, fold your lingerie exactly the way you like it, and bring you coffee in bed without being asked. Yes, that frees up an obscene amount of your time and mental energy. You will suddenly have hours you didn’t know existed.

And what you do with those hours determines whether this glorious arrangement lasts six months or sixteen years.

Your new job — the one that actually matters — is to become a master curator of his submission.

Because here’s the dirty little secret: submissive men are starving. Not for chores or rules or protocols. They’re starving for the specific, filthy, shameful, deeply intimate things that make them feel truly owned. The fantasies they’re terrified to say out loud. The ones that make their cock leak just thinking about them when they’re stuck in traffic.

If you take his domestic service, his money, his orgasms, his free time, and give him nothing in return except “good boy” and occasional boot worship, the house of cards will collapse. Slowly at first — less enthusiasm, quieter “yes Ma’ams,” sneaking off to jerk off in frustration — and then all at once when he realizes he can get the same lack of effort from vanilla life with far less humiliation.

You must feed the beast you’ve caged.

That means you have to do the work of finding out what he actually wants. Not what you think is hot. Not what looks good on Reddit. What makes his soul leave his body when you do it.

You have to sit him down (or put him on his knees) and dig. Relentlessly.

“What makes you feel most owned?” “When you think about me using you in the darkest way possible, what are you picturing?” “If I gave you one completely selfish, depraved scene that would ruin you for anyone else, what would it be?”

And then — this is the crucial part — you have to deliver versions of it. Regularly. On a schedule that keeps him desperate but not broken.

Because you’re the one in charge, you get to decide frequency, intensity, and presentation. You can edge him with it, tease him with it, make him earn it, ruin it, extend it, or withhold it as punishment. But you cannot pretend it doesn’t exist.

This is why I am religious about contracts.

Contracts are not cute role-play props. They are the scaffolding that keeps the entire power exchange standing when real life gets messy.

Here are the non-negotiable ones in my house:

1. Chastity & Orgasm Contract Spells out lock-up periods, inspection rituals, teasing requirements (minimum twice weekly), ruin rules, and exactly how he earns a full orgasm. Includes health and safety clauses (mandatory removal if discoloration, numbness, etc.).
2. Domestic Service Contract Detailed chore list, standards, deadlines, and consequences for failure. Also includes rewards — because positive reinforcement works better than punishment 90% of the time.
3. Disciplinary Contract Lists punishable offenses and exact spanking/strapping/caning protocols (implement, number of strokes, position, warm-up requirements, aftercare). This prevents “punishment” from becoming chaotic or abusive when I’m angry.
4. Pegging Contract (yes, really) He needs to be fucked stupid at least once every 7 days or he gets sullen and mouthy. Contract states minimum weekly, monthly sessions, size progression rules, required positions, cleanup duties (his), and my right to add surprise sessions or deny them if he’s been bratty. Also includes prostate milking schedule because health matters.
5. Humiliation & Degradation Contract Lists approved words/phrases, hard limits, public vs private rules, and required frequency (he needs verbal degradation during sex or he feels unloved — wild but true).
6. Princess Day Contract Once per month he plans and executes an entire day devoted to my pleasure with zero expectations in return. Because reciprocity isn’t just for subs.

Every single one of these contracts has clauses that protect HIM. Because a burned-out, resentful submissive is useless to me.

The contracts get reviewed and renegotiated every six months. Things change. Bodies change. Desire changes. The documents keep us honest.

So yes, Queen — you get the pedestal, the worship, the foot rubs, the bank account access, and the mind-blowing sex exactly how you want it.

But only if you’re willing to do the work of keeping his submission alive and throbbing.

Otherwise you’re just a high-maintenance girlfriend with a praise kink.

And we both know he’ll eventually leave you for a woman who’s willing to strap one on and ruin him properly.

Now tell me in the comments: What contracts do YOU want templates for? Foot worship contract? Cuckolding rules? Financial domination terms? Public play permissions? Drop your requests below and I’ll write the next batch.

The throne is nice. But the view is only worth it if someone’s desperately licking your boots while you sit on it.

Keep them desperate, ladies. It’s literally your job. ♠️