It is a wet start to Friday of Week 6. Many things are flitting through my head as I eat my beans on toast and contemplate the weekend ahead. At the top of the list is my timetable. At school it is week B. Which means my Friday is full of double lessons with no planning time. Friday of week A, by contrast, features a double planning session after lunch. The holy grail so to speak. The uptick of this is that I will only have one more Friday B in this contract.

A few things have settled in my brain this week. Now that I am over the hump of the term I am looking at the few short weeks in which I have to mark 80 reports, complete reports for about 100 students, start a new unit of work, tidy my desk and pack for 6 weeks of overseas travelling. It is a little daunting. A few things have settled in my brain in the last couple of weeks. The first is that I love my job. I love the kids and the connections with colleagues. I love the feeling of being part of a team. I love having conversations about pedagogy and how to make connections with young people.

But….

I am 53. My body is not as resilient as it used to be. I ache in so many different places for so many different reasons. Not big, life threatening aches. Little niggly ones that keep me awake at night and make me irritable. I don’t want to spend my life in doctor’s offices trying to get diagnoses. So, rightly or wrongly I live with them. Or rather I change my lifestyle to adapt. Teaching is hard on your body. Standing and walking on concrete floors and pathways all day is hard on your knees and feet. My Plantar Fascia is reminding me that I don’t care for it as much as I did. Which is causing my knee to chime in.

Projecting your voice over chatty teenagers in echoing rooms is hard on your vocal chords. Mine have had a hard life in the last few years. A large goitre was removed from my neck last year and my vocal chords are still struggling with being stretched and then having freedom. Keeping a good diet when you are constantly stressed and rushing about is difficult. I am eating better than I did when I was a permanent teacher but I wouldn’t say I am doing great at it. Some days I drink enough, some days I don’t drink water at all. Most days I eat some vegetables but most days it isn’t exactly the ideal amount.

Mostly though, I have things to do in my life that make me happier and much kinder to my family that don’t involve teaching. The school I am working at keeps hinting that I should stay. That I would be a great addition to their team. It is gratifying to feel wanted. It is confirmation of my idea about myself that I am a hard-working, good teacher. But the question I need to ask myself is “Are they a good addition to my life?”

Five years ago when I was deeply entrenched in working full time and hadn’t opened my eyes to the possibility of life without full time work I would have answered a resounding “fuck yes!!!” Today after a year of testing out the idea of semi-retirement I am less confident. At three am when I am awake contemplating my life the true answer comes out.

I have better things to do.

Have a great Friday People!

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