I once had a conversation with a guy at a club about dress code. This man owned his own concreting business and, according to him, had enough money to live life on his terms. He also thought that a swinger’s club asking him to wear a collared shirt and dress pants as a minimum was bullshit. Fast forward to last weekend. We are dressing for the house party I may have mentioned earlier, and I find myself advising Mr Jones to wear something other than the pants he wears absolutely everywhere at home. Pants which he finds infinitely comfortable and I find infinitely unattractive.

As I explained to Mr Jones. Effort equals results. If you turn up to a party looking like you are wearing the first thing you found in your floordrobe you will end up scoring the thing that looks like the first thing you found in your floordrobe. Or, you will end up spending the evening haning about in corners watching the action. Like the floordrobe.

We arrive at the party and I receive much attention about my choice of outfit and my boots. Both of which were considered choices made long before I was actually dressing. In fact I gave a couple of days’ consideration to the outfit. Even going so far as to pack options (we were spending the night in a hotel nearby). Other guests start to arrive and I am a little dissapointed at the level of effort, especially on the part of most of the men.

For the most part men wore trousers and shirts. It is strange how guys can wear trousers and shirts a million different ways and each way gives a different perspective. The most appealing men make an effort with their trouser and shirt combo. They chose jeans or trousers that fit nicely and looked like they were kept for wearing out. The guy I hooked up with was wearing a black graphic tee that was part of his look. He looked appealing.

One guy who stood out in the “I just chucked something on” category wore shorts and a polo. Sure the shorts had a zip and a waistband but they were SHORTS. His shirt was the kind that wasn’t quite long enough to cover his belly that hung over his shorts. Not attractive AT ALL. He had long hair and had done the man thing of roughly pulling it back into a messy ponytail. His footwear was a pair of ordinary runners. In short he had picked up some stuff from the floordrobe and turned up. Because of course all the women were going to be queuing up for him.

Lets circle back to the “rich” guy I spoke about earlier. He was similar. Nothing about him was attractive really. He didn’t have a nice body. His face was average. He could hold a conversation, probably, as long as we were talking about him or something he was interested in. The same went for the guy I just described. Not a lot happening there.

So did they end up getting lucky? My wealthy friend didn’t. At the end of the night he was drinking at the bar saying good bye to people as they left, smiling from encounters with other people. My floordrobe friend? Well if I am honest I didn’t keep tabs on him. I did notice him spectating when I was busy with my face in a woman’s crotch so I am guessing he didn’t really get much traction.

As I explained to Mr Jones effort equals results. Women spend a ridiculous amount of time planning their outfits. We spend time scrolling, checking out what looks good and what doesn’t, we shop looking for outfits that make us feel sexy and that look hot. I mentioned my boots. They are pretty special. They also weren’t cheap. But, they are definitely worth the investment. They are comfortable and hot and can be worn with regular streetwear. I don’t have a lot of outfits but what I do have works for me. I also take time to plan what I am wearing. And, I get complimented. After the compliments come other rewards.

It isn’t easy. There is effort. But effort equals results.

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