I’ve learned a lot about the submissive mind over the years. I’ve become quite good at understanding how to push my husband’s hot buttons, knowing what things drive him wild, and anticipating how he will react to various things. Like a well trained Ferrari driver, I can take his arousal from 0 to 60 in seconds and hold him there without letting him spin out of control. Controlling him and getting him to do what I want is second nature to me now. While I may know how to do all this, I still find the submissive mind to be a mystery. The biggest mystery being ‘why does he react the way he does? Why does being forced to wear panties turn him into an aroused and docile heap of clay that I can mold any way I want? Why does ordering him to kneel at my feet easily send him into a submissive spiral? I know what these things do to him, but the ‘why’ is a mystery.
I’d like to share an excerpt from an e-mail I received from Mary, whom I correspond with regularly. Her e-mail spurred my thoughts in this post. I completely relate to what she describes below, as I experience the same with my husband.
“There is this “thing” it seems. I guess the only way I can say it is the more I demand of him the more he seems to need/desire/attend to me in some weird way. I cannot quite describe this. Sometimes I am a bit tough on him in terms of “chores and tasks”. All I can say is it “does something” to him when I am demanding or give him a lot of direction and demands. It is like it “orients him to me” or something. Like the more I direct him the more he needs me or desires me. I know he has a drive to me in general and is very drawn to me sexually – that has always been but “something happens” in this when I demand things or “calmly direct him”. It is hard to describe but I totally, totally feel it.
This is an example. The other night was a nothing night and we were just watching TV. I was going to take a hot shower before bed (I like that!) and it crossed my mind to have him clean the bathroom. At first to be honest I was just thinking of telling him to get out my towels and robe – that is all. But I thought about it and thought it would be nice to have a sparkling bathroom. It was not what you would call “dirty” just not “sparkly”. I tend to give him his chores or errands in morning or first thing in general and lay off more in evening unless it is something smaller or personal for me – get me snack or something. But I had him clean (really scrub!) the whole bathroom at about 10pm at night. I kept watching TV while he spent about a half hour or more doing that and then getting my things out. Kaylee, I honestly cannot quite describe it. I think it excites him to task for me but it is more than that. I think it also calms him or something? Is it “not having to think”? Just “do as told”?”
Mary touches on a few of the submissive mysteries. What I find commendable about Mary’s example is that on a whim she challenged the norm and exerted strict control and high standards to a simple task in order to tap into her husband’s submission. This is not easy to do for many women, because it doe not seem intuitive or right. However, when exploring domination, the best way to learn and grow is to step out of your comfort zone and explore the mysteries. For me, part of the thrill of domination, is seeing the mysterious reactions in my husband. It is exciting to push his submissive buttons and know that I am going to have an emotional and erotic impact on him. Perhaps knowing the ‘why’ is not important. After all, we never think about why the car goes. We just press the pedal and know it is going to go and that is what’s most useful to us.
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