I’m really scared that someone I know might discover my fetishes, so that would totally be an easy way for my wife to blackmail me. Even if I know she would never do anything that could damage my reputation or relationships with anyone, I like the idea that she could use that power for whatever purpose she’d want.
Maybe she could simply threaten me when we’re role-playing.
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Agreed! That’s part of the delightful thrill, and this fear will feed submissive feelings