Modestly Swinging #KOTW #wickedwednesday

My earliest experience of swinging was over 30 years ago, shortly after our marriage had blossomed into our “open relationship” fun as a consequence of my “The More I Have” experience.

I’d told Hubby of my curiosity about Swinging as part of our “as long as it’s fun for both of us” desires and fantasies. This was before the days of the internet of course, but we had come across details of a Private and Exclusive Swingers Club in one of the Sunday papers I believe.

It was held at a disco-type night club in Kensington and so Hubby and I, very nervously, decided to apply. I remember we sat in the car several streets away for almost an hour on that first night, trying to build-up the courage to go along and knock on the door.

The club itself was actually quite stylish, with a quiet upstairs bar and a larger dance floor area downstairs. The DJ alternated the lighting in sync with the music he was playing . . . so bright and flashing for the more upbeat songs, and darker and more subdued for the slower music. And once an hour I think, he would announce a “lights down” sequence of around 15 minutes when the lights went almost off completely!

We seemed to be the youngest couple there and despite being interested in some of the scanty outfits on display, I felt awkward and uncomfortable and not at all flattered, or tempted, by any of the couples that approached us. Everyone was polite and and quite friendly, but neither of us felt at-ease enough, nor aroused enough, to wish to engage in anything more than just polite replies or general conversation (when that was even possible above the music, at least downstairs). And I certainly didn’t want to stay on the dance floor when the lights went out!

We lasted three or four hours, before agreeing it just wasn’t for us. And that was the end of our “swingers clubs” experience . . . though not the end of our other fun! . . . for over 20 years.

But our other fun did continue to evolve. Firstly just me sharing the accounts of my “fun nights out” with Hubby when I returned home, (as chronicled in my Modesty Ablaze Diaries), into eventually inviting him along quite regularly to join-in with one of my particular lovers who was quite happy for three-some play-fun as well.

And it was those wonderful evenings that often had us talking again about re-visiting our Swingers experience. No, not at the same club . . . but 20 years on and searching on the internet . . . we found that there was one particular club within easy reach!

So . . . still nervous, but no longer having to sit in the car for an hour beforehand, we took the plunge and . . . over the coming months . . . got very wet!

So much so, that for the best part of that year, it became almost our regular Saturday night out.

The club itself was admittedly more tacky than our Kensington experience,
but . . . older and wiser . . . my own perceptions and expectations had changed so much, and we both felt much more at ease. The hosts were welcoming and laid-back, the clientele seemed much more of our own age, and the no-pressure atmosphere just made it a much easier and more natural-feeling experience.

We had the especially good fortune that our “meet and greet newcomers chaperone”, was a really gorgeous and lovely blonde lady that had both of us swooning. And although we just mingled and chatted, without indulging on that first night, she was the first reason we went back . . . and back . . . and back.

And it was here that we first met some really lovely, fun people, both couples and single-gentlemen . . . and experienced some amazingly fun playtimes with . . . some of whom we still see today. The photograph at the top of this post, which I have used on my pages here before, is a wonderful example of one of those special friendships that just keeps on keeping-on.

I do realise though that Swinging is not for everybody and my advice for anyone curious about making those first initial steps is . . . of course . . . to talk openly and honestly with one’s partner about every possible scenario or worry you may have, before you actually visit your first club or event. It’s just common-sense really . . . but, if something doesn’t feel comfortable then, obviously, just say “thank you, but not tonight”.

In my experience, people always understand that “no means no” and won’t take offence or keep on asking. And there will always be a member of staff you can speak to if you did feel under pressure or that you were the subject of unwanted attention.

At our “local”, most of the attendees are other couples, though they do allow entrance to a few “selected single males”. Occasionally single ladies do attend alone as well.

It’s often difficult when meeting and chatting with couples for the first time, for both partners of each couple to feel interest and attraction. So I am very lucky in that Hubby is often happy to take the role of voyeur without necessarily needing to participate fully. But there have still been occasions when he has said that “thank you, but not tonight”, before I have, on my behalf.

And that is the golden rule for us . . . if one or the other of us is not comfortable . . . chatting and polite conversation is as far as it will go. And that is the beauty of a club, it allows one to mingle and move around . . . and move on. Although we have visited a private party as opposed to a club, that has only been through people we have previously met in the club situation.

Some of my club, and party, experiences are mentioned in my “Unmasked” edition of “The Modesty Ablaze Diaries” and I do have a “Swingers Club” page . . . many of which I haven’t visited, so can’t vouch for personally or even be sure they are still current, but all have been mentioned to me in the past by “friends” or visitors to my pages here. So, if you have any recommendations of your own, please do let me know !!!

You can read . . . and share . . . more experiences and thoughts on “Swinging”
at the current KOTW from kissing the lips below.