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Femdom Life: Moving House, Moving On

Wildcard and I just signed a lease on an apartment together. Up until this point, as our relationship got serious, I had simply moved in on top of him (heh), taking my scant possessions, merging them with his: a computer, some clothes, a few personal effects and objects of sentimental value. Escaping my ex and the uncomfortable weight of my family has meant a certain paring down of the self, stripping away the non-essentials, both for the practicality of flight and the psychological comfort of not owning things. Moving together, this way, is a big step. It means, among many things, adjusting to a life that is ‘us’ not a life that is designed to be independent. It means, for him, leaving behind a lot [...]

Degrading by Spitting!

All of my cruel Domme friends and I love to spit into bitch-boy’s mouth and sometimes just into his face. What simpler, easier way can there be to assert the difference in status that exists! Mistress Jane is the best at this and the rest of us aspire to develop her elegant, effective, voluminous style. I am looking for advice. How to produce more saliva? I have seen in Femdom videos that a woman smoking seems able to produce a great deal of spit but as a non-smoker, I cannot use this catalyst. I have seen Dommes in Femdom videos use a lollypop or wine or minty chewing gum but each of these is a flawed tool in my opinion because the resultant saliva must taste quite pleasant. I [...]

BDSM Etiquette: Helpful Hints

As readers may well know, I am a stickler for proper conduct. The following questions come up as common BDSM etiquette problems and I’ve provided some guidelines to ensure excruciatingly correct behaviour at all times. The key to BDSM is of course arbitrary rules provided by fictional persons, traditions practiced purely by inertia and wishful thinking. Q I am a submissive trying to meet people, and a person who I am speaking to has demanded that I call them “Master” or “Mistress”. To be specific, they are neither my Master nor my Mistress, but I want to be sure I am doing this properly. A BDSM is built on tradition, and a submissive must know how to properly comport themselves. If you want [...]

Cruel Xmas presents – update

I have decided it is time to replace his long sleeved, winter, little-girl, sissy dress. (The cut-down elderly ladies’ nightdress.) So for another Xmas present I have ordered two pink fleece, elderly ladies’ nightdresses and I will choose which will be the most humiliating style and fabric once cut-down. He will then spend many hours over the coming Christmas break, cutting it very short, hemming it and then sewing some lovely white lace around the hems and cuffs. Two inch wide lace which I have also bought. What a lovely Christmas break he has to look forward to! The drawing in my 26 August 2013 blog post shows the look I am after for my poor little sissy. My impatience got the better of me and [...]

Reader Letter: How Should My Femdom Act?
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Reader Letter: How Should My Femdom Act?

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Reader Letter: How Should My Femdom Act?

This question comes the way of an unlucky fellow, who wrote to me to get some insight on how exactly he was supposed to expect a dominant woman he was dating to treat him. His first relationship made him feel like crap because of how inconsiderate dom #1 was, but dom #2 just doesn’t unilaterally take control all the time. And, he’s not sure what he even wants, so he’s not sure how to help her help him, or even if that’s backleading? It’s a common question, so I’ll let him share it in his own words. Dear Miss Pearl: I have a few questions if you wouldn’t mind sharing some insight. In the past four years I have slowly come to realize [...]

Things I Am NOT Saying About Professional Dominants

As a follow up to my last post on the subject of dominatrices VS non-professionals, I’ve also been trying to share more of other people’s writings on the subject and make this more of a conversation, including on twitter. And of course I’m getting pushback because people think I dislike or don’t believe in professional dominants. This happens every time you try to talk about the pro/non-pro distinction, so I’m going to try to make a definitive response to the subject right here. Professionals are not fake. Please stop writing to tell me about how they are also all “lifestyle” and real and put their heart and soul into the job. This is not about bashing pros, it’s about making a distinction, and [...]

Not All Femdoms Are Sex Workers

Once again, an innocent question from a redditor reminds me of one of the problems that comes with being a non-professional dominant. Or really any conversation about femdom. I get messages from people in my inbox (I guess I seem authoritative) of various sites and this is not an unusual occurrence. Sometimes it’s a guy trying to book a session. In this case, he was neither impolite nor unpleasant, but it’s my daily reminder that the thing that I do is not perceived as functioning the way I do it – to the larger world, femdoms are sex workers by default. Random Reddit Dude: Hi, I stumbled upon your reddit domme post and Im abt to go to my first domme in a [...]

Play-toy’s Punishment And Shame – audio

Or just a mind-fuck for a naughty little mongrel on heat who needs to learn complete obedience – even when she is at home! Source: Ms Scarlet

9 Years Denial

I know which house I was in when I decided bitch-boy would never penetrate me (and therefore any woman) ever again. So I know what year that was. And I know roughly the time of year. I so deeply regret not writing down the exact date. But I am able to say that around this month of this year we are at bitch-boy’s ninth anniversary of his born again virgin status. Poor, poor bb. Amazingly he has not given up on it! Only two weeks ago he begged and begged to be allowed to penetrate my pretty cunt, between my beautiful athletic legs, JUST ONCE A YEAR, and even then not cum. Just be inside me for a few minutes. I laughed and [...]

Dominant Smoking Women

I have noticed how many submissive men are turned on by photos of (on the face of it vanilla) smoking women and I have been thinking about why. I have concluded there are a lot of reasons. The main one I think is that a woman smoking in a pic often looks very relaxed. Being relaxed hints very strongly at being in control. I am always saddened by seeing pics or videos purporting to be of dominant women in action, who are angry or who have lost their temper. I am sure a submissive may be frightened by an angry Domme, but surely it is more frightening when the Domme is utterly relaxed while inflicting her abuses? A little off the subject, but linked to this [...]